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Have your butt and eat it, too
There I was, going HAM on bae’s D — “Wait, what’d you just say?” I choked as I looked up from the carnage. “Stick it in my butt.” That was the first time someone asked me to even acknowledge his...
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Because consent should be sexy
My reactions to the three reported cases of sexual assault on campus two weekends ago are conflicting. On the one, more obvious hand, anger and empathy congeal within me to form a general, tepid...
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Do you love your vagina?
This one goes out to all of those female-bodied individuals up in the club — or the classroom; it’s whatever. You may or may not own a vagina if you’re reading this right now, but chances are, you...
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Do you love your penis?
I spent a large portion of my youth with a pretty severe penis envy: I was obsessed with the idea that having a dick would make life so much easier, not to mention way more fun. I wanted to piss on...
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Confessions of a sugar baby
Mr. Nice Guy: “You are quite a distraction and a very sexy woman.” London Gent: “Send pics.” Adult: “I am impotent so I cannot have sex. But I am looking for a strong woman to use and control me.”...
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In the game of “love” and tact
From having a grown man scream-cry to me, “I’m attractive, goddamn it!” while throwing his shoe at my roommate, to getting the “Why don’t you love me?” talk, the span of my love life could be...
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Sex: Cyber or IRL?
Sex is one of those things that no matter how much of it you’re having, you could always be having more. Whether virgins or in long-term relationships, it seems like everyone around me (including...
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2017 cannot come fast enough
Since its conception, the Pill has become a powerful symbol in the campaign for women’s rights. Stanford professor and so-called “father” of the Pill, Carl Djerassi, claims that if it weren’t for oral...
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Blood is the new black
The first time someone told me they wanted to drink my period blood from a chalice, I suddenly grew extremely close to proposing marriage on the spot. Maybe it’s the teenage girl in me talking, but...
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So, I slept with my professor
“So you’re telling me this happens a lot here?” “Oh, yes. I had a maths professor at the Sorbonne who would pick the brightest girl every term to be his pet. They all knew this. They would sit in the...
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